Mau Mau

Two Englishmen go sailing around the world, after several months they make it from England to Polynesia, tired and sick of each others company they decide to stop at an Island with a nice sheltered bay to gather provisions and rest.

Too their astonishment they discover the island is populated by beautiful Polynesian women with a tiny village with some old men.

The two Englishmen make themselves at home and accept the generous hospitality including roast pork & yam dinners, fresh fruit including Melons, And all the hospitality the local women can muster.

Two weeks pass and the Englishmen are thinking this must be heaven, maybe they should stay and settle down, as not much was spoiling for them back home in England.

One morning some Polynesian men arrive on small sailing boats with Outriggers and fishing nets, A great feast ensues, this time the main dish is fish, The two Englishmen are again treated to great hospitality and made most welcome.

However as the night closes in the Polynesian men return to their huts with their women, leaving the Englishmen to sleep in a hut on the edge of the village with some of the old men.

This continues for two more nights!

The morning following the feasting the two Englishmen are taken to one side by the Polynesian men and told they have two options, Mau Mau or Death by Mau Mau.

The Englishmen enquire “what is Mau Mau?” as death by Mau Mau sounds quite threatening!

To which the Polynesian men reply “Mau Mau is where we stuff Melons up your arse until you stop breathing”.


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